Part 38: Amusingly, or perhaps unsettlingly, the UnderNet has a real-world analogue in the DeepNet.
And now, we resume our regularly scheduled viruses busting program. On today's episode: No Viruses to Bust!
Lan has been waiting at this hospital the whole time.
Which in itself isn't weird. But the fact that it's just him? Where even is his mum??
Really, man? Are the writers just trolling at this point?
What I'm hearing is "you really could have (nay, SHOULD HAVE) spent more time donking around on the 'net"
I still maintain that Match is a cuntbag. I mean, yeah, Lan is retard incarnate, but Match is the one who made the deadly programs in the first place. He didn't NEED Lan to do it, if you think about it.
Naturally, an 11 year old doesn't see logic that way.
I've said it before and I'll say it again
Also Lan's as dumb as the day is long.
tbf it seemed like a good idea at the time-
wait no it didn't. Hmm. Nevermind.
Lan's mom comes up from the elevator.
I know you love your husband and all, but damn, you have a kid to take care of!
Ehhh it's Lan, what's the worst that could happen? He's already nearly burned down the internet, so I think he's good for awhile.
Fine.
The screen fades out.
Evil is afoot! But wait, where did he get the fourth TetraCode from
You look like something Dr. Robotnik would make, seriously.
I'm sure I don't know what you mean.
It may seem dumb to put all the codes into one Navi, but unfortunately, all the codes are needed to grab Alpha, so it's necessary.
Dr Wily's all about dumb plans anyway, so it all works out.
SciLab is getting attacked again? Maybe we should feed hot data to the Mr. Progs.
Ooh that sounds like a good idea!
And Wily coded this Navi specifically, meaning that most people find him a horse's ass to fight.
DrillMan's iteration in the japanese cell phone Battle Network games was far less intimidating. Totally looking forward to give him a Brooklyn Beatdown (kick someone's ass and take their shoes, or in this case, chips).
Go DrillMan, for the sake of anarchy? Honestly, Dr Wily is the best villain ever.
Except for an 11 year old boy.
Children? Meddling in evil plans?? Pfft when does that ever happen.
Why are you hiding Bass' name? It's not as if you didn't name drop him for us a couple of cut-scenes ago!
...hahaha yep that prank is still hilarious.
Wily's laugh should be a BattleChip.
Oh my god that would be beautiful. A fully-animated evil laugh in battle, doesn't even matter if it does anything or not.
Fade out...
No, leave me alone! This scenario is not only the best in this game, but also one of the best in the series! I don't want you two ruining this!
Whoah whoah whoah... wait... you're telling me BubbleMan isn't your favourite scenario?
Why can't two cute girls pay all of us a visit?
And we cut to Lan's room. MegaMan is clearly not happy with Lan's bitching.
Laaaaan you only almost killed your dad, gosh. Don't be such a downer.
Now the doorbell is calling me a ding dong.
Bound to happen eventually.
Battle Zombies 2: Attack of the Forehead
Not one of Capcom's more profitable titles, that one.
Did I mention I hate it when people get emo? This situation is understandable however, even though Match was the cuntbag responsible.
Lan just wants to be sad forever.
Yeah, really. Jesus.
Moment of appreciation for MegaMan: He was equally responsible for almost killing his dad. Also he's dead and a computer program. And still less of a sook than Lan.
And they just walk in. I think. It could have been a fade. Who knows with Capcom and their shenanigans.
..what, is it not normal for 2 cute girls to just walk into your bedroom?
She better have taken care of her son, all I'm saying.
Eh, close enough.
Wat. That woman hasn't left her husband's side for three days? How many times do I need to say it: She has a kid, she can't just do that. Could this be another cultural difference thing?
I think it's meant to be more like WOW LAN SUCH A COMPETENT PROTAGONIST KID except... he's really not, so... ummmmmmm
Good idea, all the girls will be feeling sorry for you. If you're a manipulative asshole, you could even get a few favors.It worked for me, shut up.
bad webcomics thread represent
Thaaaaatttttt wasn't a good thing to say.
Haha bam! Right in the feelings!
Blame the fucking forehead over there.
No reason to take it out on your friends, man.
Lan's so upset he's even taking it out on his BEST FRIEND (Yai).
Tiny temper tantrum Lan! Waaaaah!!!
And don't let the door hit your ass on the way out. And DON'T come back. I don't want any interruptions from either of you this scenario, got it? Best scenario in the game, loads of new chips we can grab, and new, tough areas to explore. DON'T RUIN IT!
I agree with MegaMan. Not cool, Lan, not cool.
Yeah, he should'a let 'em hang around. Then you guys could've all played around together in the next scenario, eh?
Just don't tell anybody. I find it easy to lie. Totally not referencing the last update.
Lying makes you a hero, dammit.
These games should just stick to character drama, rather than world drama. They are better at it.
What we need is more MegaMan yelling at Lan. Or Lan yelling at MegaMan. Oh hey, can you break out the joke program??
So we go to answer the door...
...and come upon this scene. It's a little funny in its own way.
It's freakin adorable, is what it is. Lan can't ever get anything right
Whereas Lan is apologizing to Chaud, I won't be apologizing to the thread
Is that code for "I'm here to flip you off"? Seems like it should be.
Game Over.
We're talking about NOTHING! Right, Lan? Fuck tha police!
Followup question: how are you so stupid literally all of the time, Lan?
More fetch quests.
An unusually astute answer that assumes the player's been paying a modicom of attention.
Obviously this info was restated just in case you forgot between PlantMan's scenario and now. It's also good to remind the thread for anyone new watching.
It's ME I FORGOT any details after "Wily wants 'em".
*cough*obviousfinalboss*cough*
Those WWW scum, trying to do that thing that I haven't actually been briefed on!
That's because Alpha's "abilities" are fun to write about in fiction. No really, they are.
Blink animation doesn't seem to believe that last part though.
Oh, the final code was at SciLab. Woooow, Lan, you REALLY helped the WWW now.
Yay Lan! You're a hero!!! Ooh, too soon?
Ooh, ooh! Put me on the case! I wanna kill stufffff.
WHAT COULD GO WRONG?
You mean S-ranks? Hmmm. I wonder if "S" is the true S-ranking master.
Nah, it's like... S, short for Steve, he leaned on the keyboard and accidentally pressed "enter" before he got to finish typing his handle and now is too embarrassed to fix it.
Oh my god, Lan asked an intelligent question.
Also sass
And there's actually a decent answer. Officials would be too recognized in general. "Fuck tha police" and all that. The Undernet is huge, so hardly anyone would notice a blue Navi running around. Whereas the Officials are always patrolling the Undernet.
Yeah man, fuck the police.
NOOOOO! Lan, you're being a puss!
Nah he's just lazy. Either that or "fuck you, pay me"
IDIOT! Keep your mouth shut!
No! Lan! For once in your life resist the urge to the dumbest goddamn thing possible at every moment!!
STAHP! GET A LAWYER!
Chaud does Lan a favor, sweet. But of course, this is the right thing to do, given that Lan saved Chaud's father not counting dropping Sunayama AND his Navi.
that was awesome BAM navi to the face
Oh yeah, the Virus Lab. In this scenario, a new type of gameplay quest has opened up. We'll discuss it towards the end of the update.
Ooh! I forgot about that thing! They should have it in more of these games.
Have a cold one, Echy. We just got away with murder.
Yeaaaaaaah buddy
No, I have cleanup to do.
He's fine, he's got Lan's mum... who... I assume has a name... but I've forgotten it.
More and more NPCs are starting to reject this world's setting. WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO!?
But... do you think we might rely on the net too much?
SPLUUURRGGEE!
And that's why Higsby is the best ex-WWW operative. That and he never had us try to kill our dad.
Get OVER here, woman!
Hey now, she has a name. Maybe.
You're gonna impress the clients with another outfit?
Sweet! This is what I meant, duh. What was YOUR mind thinking?
Oh uh, yeah, you definitely don't strike me as the guy to hassle a random on the street for no reason. Maybe little reason, but not no reason.
Now I feel like the guy from Resident Evil 4. "Whatcha buyyyyinng?"
IMPOSSIBRUUUU! That's a chip I don't have! I have failed you all, I'm sorry!
This is what happens when you don't let your chip collection get out of hand!
It's time to fight MetalMan Beta!
In the fight, I had forgotten to remove my HP+400 increase, so I started with Custom-1. I can never remember to remove things like that off.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8ENJjeyGSM
Now, if you check out the start of the fight, you can see I coaxed him into attacking early with RockArm3. That's a very small taste of how I'll be S-ranking bosses. If you know how the AI reacts, you can control them, meaning we know exactly what they're going to do and at what times.
Dang do I love that WoodStyle chargeshot. Also dang man, exploiting AI to deliver such a crushing defeat? That's heartless.
WHY!?
BECAUSE UR MEAN >:C
We have ten questions to answer this time.
Let the annoyance known as transcribing begin!
Woooo~
You guys should all know this, or you'll be attending my class again next year.
C'mon guys, that's only the most important place in the WORLD.
Don't know the answer? Guess!
Good thing there's no punishment for wrong answers except redoing the same quiz.
Stalker Quiz Giver. What the shit.
This quiz seems pitched to a suspiciously specific audience.
We can only see its butt.
Pandabutt
There are two more quiz givers after this, both with even more questions. Kill me now.
But aren't we having fun?
They always get the coolest stuff.
but what do they even need it for? Scheduling??
Does this guy just fish for random questions? Stupid question, I know.
Yes
Very Yes
Extremely yes
Almost done.
This question will actually be relevant later in a minor way. Remember it.
You're not the boss of me, I'll forget everything!
Sweet.
Totally worth it. Also completionism!
If this was Mamoru, he should have asked me himself.
Maybe he heard about Mamoru and figured you were the best guy to scam chips off of.
A good trade, actually. GrabBack K screws Swordys and areagrabbing bosses. As well as making your friends think twice about using Areagrab on you in PvP.
I don't think I've ever used GrabBack, but it seems cool enough.
These chips deal damage to enemies who took any amount of squares from you. So if they used and successfully took 3 squares with an areagrab, GrabBack would deal 120 damage. GrabRvng is more powerful, bringing the damage to 180. Now, that's with *ONE* Areagrab, can you imagine if they took multiple columns from you?
THIS DATA FINALLY SPAWNED! The game DOES wait to load these mystery datas!
Huh, ~the more you know~.
SWEET!
Funny how this chip doesn't spawn until you encounter Bass. Aura simply protects you from all attacks under 100. How this is different from Barrier100? Well, with Barrier, the hits can add up, so if I use Cannon, Cannon and AirShot, that would total 100 damage, destroying the barrier. But, with an Aura, it needs to be one hit at a 100 power or greater.
So why would you choose Barrier over Aura? Well, Barrier lasts permanently in battle, while Aura lasts about 40-ish seconds. That, and the barrier chips have a Program Advance in this game.
There are 3 versions of Aura: Aura, LifeAura (MegaChip and it blocks up to 200 damage) and DarkAura(GigaChip, which blocks up to 300 damage!) That last one needs a certain chip/Navicust Part to work and is a Blue-exclusive GigaChip. Not really worth the GigaChip slot if you ask me.
I do love this chips, but Invis chips is where it's at according to me. Still, Bass with an Aura is so goddamn intimidating when you're a kid.
Time to advance the story:
Battle Network 2 reference! HI SEAN!
Wait, what?! Shit!
THANKS FOR PROVING ME WRONG, MEGAMAN BATTLE NETWORK 3
well... it's just him and Yuuichiro right now. As long as Lan doesn't arrive in this scene I'm still right, dammit.
Enjoy it, because Sean will never appear in a mainline Battle Network game again.
I miss his big girly colour-shifting hair from the last game. Also Sean should already be dead from radiation poisoning, but that's neither here nor there.
Best sales pitch ever.
Yeah I'm suddenly emphasising with Sean a lot better. Even if he's still possibly the only person in the world dumber than Lan.
"Put a bomb in this dude's briefcase, everything will be okay."
"Try to blow up a plane with yourself in it"
"Make sure you hire a guy whose stripper name is Speedy Dave."
"Wear a dress and grow long hair" ok to be fair that is good advice.
More like Wily copied Bass' code, gave it to you in the middle of the night or something and made you think you created it. In reality, Wily was the one doing all the code.
Ha ha, kids are so guillible
Our hero enters the room.
oh man, I was so wrong about Sean. dang yo
And that's all we get.
They did actually change Sean's headshot from last time, slightly. He looks way less angry. Good move, Capcom.
That's all she wrote. Goodbye! Thank you, never come again!
THANKS FOR VISITING BEST FRIEND SEAN
"I got this cool suit that can change my looks, I'll sell it to you for 5 bucks."
"Turns out radiation? Not actually good for computers or people."
I HATE it when lines that are written. Christ.
Literally all of this was established in the ending scenes of the last game, too. It's... a nice nod to the last game that Sean's here, and it does contrast nicely against Lan's "trying to make up for being a tremendous idiot, all the time" but it feels a little very unnecessary.
Nooo, stop telling everyone! Take this secret to your grave!
WELL at least if his heart explodes from disappointment at how stupid Lan is, he's in the right place to get treatment.
"And now, you're grounded. No NetBattles for over a month."
"I did already know that Mr Match is a Bad Guy, yes."
Still a little touching, nonetheless.
Haha oh god I only just noticed, Yuuichiro's mugshot. They (badly) recoloured his regular work shirt to kind of look like his hospital gown
So we kill Match? Got it.
And that touching cutscene is over.
We get an e-mail after the cut-scene saying that the Virus Breeder is now open! Let's check it out.
Yeah buddy! Let's play that really popular GameFreak game!!
Right, what this does is allows us to catch
Now, I'll then jack into that machine right there, talk to a Mr.Program and receive a special Mettaur chip. Furthermore, you can feed the viruses you capture like pets! (pets, PETs,
). You use BugFrags to make the chip you receive from them much stronger than before. We'll need about a couple thousand BugFrags before I'm through with this game. There are only 9 special Virus chips we can get, however. We won't be completing this quest until much later, as I want to devote a whole update/segment of an update for doing that. So, we'll be seeing a more in-depth look later.
Like I said, this is a pretty great little sidemission that's a lot of fun. I like it!
So, it's no different than any other scenario, got it.
Most exciting scenario in the game, got it.
The Hikari family must be suicidal, seriously.
Yeah, this was also established in a previous battle network game.
I swear, the blink animation just comes up when it pleases. I don't fake this shit, I swear.
MegaMan Battle Networks are very kind co-commentators.
If it's hard to tell, he's saying that the Officials investigated the inner workings of the Undernet and something called a "ranking" system was found.
Ranks 1 to 10? And we want to find a Navi called S? This is suspiciously like the rewards system.
OBVIOUSLY COMPLETELY DIFFERENT psssh.
There are levels beyond S in the rewards system, you know.
So we need to collect all the Gym badges before taking on S, which necessitates getting ranked.
Current rank: scrub tier. GET ON MY LEVEL
Forced NaviCust program, woo.
Electronic waves. And this game came out about 4 years before Starforce 1.
I don't understand why UnderNavis are different in this way but y'know, makes it convenient. Just put a big "I am a bastard" sticker on your navi, infiltrate the UnderNet, aw yeah.
That's fucking racist, but fine. We'll do that...IN THE NEXT UPDATE.
DID SOMEBODY SAY RACIST I'm not racist against Netopians OK I just happen to think they're all thugs and criminals.
wait were we talking about something else
forget I said that
This scenario will be loads of fun.
